hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
