I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
