He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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