loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
