we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
