There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
