i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
