so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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