I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
