pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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