just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
