if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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