He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
