I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
