just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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