after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
