I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
