Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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