She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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