Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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