how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize