Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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