You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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