How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
