if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
