I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
