I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
