I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
