p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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