So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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