OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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