A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
