the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
