The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
