wakey wakey hands off snakey
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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