I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
its liver damage thursday
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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