Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
