I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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