She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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