You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
