The maid of honor just puked.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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