just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
