is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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