worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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