So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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