If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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