I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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