Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
