Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
