just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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